god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
