So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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