they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
