I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
