Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
