That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
