So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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