I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
