he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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