Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Randomize
