I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
