if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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