That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
