The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
