if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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