I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
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