Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I'm so fucking centered right now
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
