cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
