Can i not drive my cunt home
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
