I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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