She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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