It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Randomize
