I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
