Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
