She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
