O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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