The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
