Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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