I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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