sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
