i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize