Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
