I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
