i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
My hand turned me down
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
