My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
