don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
