I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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