So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
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