it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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