At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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