Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
