The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
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