the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Randomize
