It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I smell like Dick and happiness
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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