my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
