Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
honey bunches of taint.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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