he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
