That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
