We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
