Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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