so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Randomize
