love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
