did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
