Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
