And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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