I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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