I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
You dont lie about slip and slides
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
