So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Randomize
