I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
