It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
