i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
