Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(417): View more from Missouri

on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.

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(314): View more from Missouri

just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college

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(216): View more from Ohio

she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.

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(416): View more from Toronto

You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony

(289): View more from Ontario

Yeah I know, the people below me already told me

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot

(617): View more from Massachusetts

i want to face-plant into her vagina

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(716): View more from New York

Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.

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(605): View more from South Dakota

You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.

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