What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
