Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Randomize