i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
