Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
