Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
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