420 ftw
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
