Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
