That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
