STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
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