Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
