wanna go halves on a baby?
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
