babies were throwing up all over the place
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
