I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
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