My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
