Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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